Monday, August 19, 2013

Sisters And The Essence of Time

But we were together again and the whole world was rejoicing…

It was Wednesday, August 7th and I spent the entire day telling everyone how it was the “best day ever”. “Why?”, they would ask. “Well because my sister comes home tonight, obviously.” It was the same old anticipation that tiptoes up through my stomach and onto my face, landing right on my mouth where I can’t stop smiling, knowing that my best friend will soon be with me, for what always seems like way too short of a time.

It was 1:00am when I picked Jacy & Mike up from the airport. I didn’t even care that I was tired. And the drive down to Lowell and back didn’t bother me one bit, I was too busy laughing and hanging on to every word we said, because once those next 11 days passed, I wanted to remember everything, every joke, every funny story. She and I stopped for food at 2:30am, and I marveled over the fact that I’d never eaten at that place sober, but I was so glad I was because now I wouldn't forget a second of it.

Her trip home was great, as always. It was the same as every time we are all together. We drank too much. We ate too much. We shopped a lot, and we consumed a ton of coffee. We took long day trips to different states. We stayed up way too late. We laughed, we cried, we made memories and promises that I would go back to Nashville just as soon as I could, and we would figure out a way to make both of our lives better than ever before. After all, we are dreamers, and we are the best kind of dreamers around. And when two sister have a plan, they can't be stopped.

But just had I had suspected, those 11 days passed way too quickly, leaving me with the empty, too familiar question of how I would ever get through the rest of time without her here…until Christmas when we would be reunited, and I prayed, and I prayed again so hard that the time until December would fly…….but then I stopped and heard my father’s voice playing in my mind telling me, don’t ever wish your life away…. But sometimes, that’s easier said than done.
It was Sunday, August 18th at 4:45am when I woke up to drive them back to the airport. We promised we wouldn’t cry this time, and in typical Holly fashion, I pretended I was strong. I dropped them off, I waited until they were too far in the distance to see, and then, I cried. It's becoming a secret little ritual that no one sees, except me and my mirror that reminds me of the black mascara flooding down my face. I can't wait to get home, I thought, I hope this drive flies by....

But time is a crazy thing, you know. Sometimes you beg and plead and make little pacts with God that if he can just speed the months up so that you can get to where you want to be as fast as possible, everything will make sense. And other times, you clench your fists so tight asking that he just please slow the time down so that you can relish in every detail of the night, and you ask that the time between now and tomorrow would take as long as the time between now and the next time I’d be in Nashville, what sometimes seems like forever away.
Because after all, time is the longest distance between two places….

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Happy Birthday, Blog!

"And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
'cause these words are my diary screaming out loud,
and I know that you'll use them however you want to"
Today marks one year since I created this little blog. I really can't believe how much success, confidence as a writer, and excitement it has brought me. When I started writing it one year ago, I thought that maybe my family and possibly a few friends would ocassionally read it, you know, to be nice and to have an answer when I would say "So, did you read my blog today?!?!?"
Honestly, The Cat'z Meow was developed more as an outlet for me, to share my thoughts and help me stop bottling everything up inside. I never dreamed that I would have hundreds of readers, many who I have never even met, but am so blessed to have in my life.
I really can't express how it feels to have someone tell me how much my poetry touched them, or how they can completely relate with the words I write. To hear someone tell me that my thoughts and my writing inspires them or moves them in any sort of way is just so gratifying. I just can't beleive that people even take the time to read the words that I write in my spare time, words that come to me in the middle of the night when I have to grab my iphone and type as fast as I can before the thoughts slip my mind.
So thank you, to every single one of you reading this, you have no idea how happy you make me. I love every single one of you.

Friday, August 2, 2013

A Sister Like Mine

I laughed and said, "life is easy."

            She's the person who knows me inside and out. She’s the person who reads my thoughts just by the way I move my eyes, and she knows the shape my mouth takes when I’m about to tell her the best story.  She knows that when I’m silently laughing, making no noise at all, it means nothing has ever been funnier. She’s the person who has seen me at my complete worst, and who has also seen me higher than heaven. She’s covered for me more times than I can count, and she's given me the cold hard truth when I really needed it. She knows my entire life’s story, down to the detail of the time first she saw me to the exact words she spoke to me when she drove away in the U-Haul to go start her life in Tennessee. I have never been more proud of anyone, ever. She’s my best friend in the entire world, and somehow I got blessed to also call her my sister. I’m beyond excited that she’ll be home on Wednesday, and I can already feel the butterflies getting ready to take flight in my stomach. My life just makes more sense when we are together. Somehow, when I'm with her, my whole world just aligns.
 What I meant was, life is easy with you here, and when you leave, it will be hard again.