Thursday, August 18, 2016

A Raw Post

                To say that my life over the past year and a half has been stressful is an understatement.  To say that I have a bad life is false.  Everyone’s life encompasses so many ups and downs, and each individual person handles things differently.  To me, having optimal health is what’s most important.  To some people, being rich, being successful, or being skinny and pretty is most important.  Again, we are all strung together differently.  And, for some reason, my strings have been all out of tune lately.

                This might be the hardest post I’ve ever written, as I feel like I am turning my back on the community that helped build this blog from the ground up.  Since this blog began as a health-food, vegetarian based, i love animals forever space, I gained so many followers with similar lifestyles.  The community of animal friendly, vegetarian, PETA loving readers I’ve been able to share this blog with for over four years has been incredible.  So, let me say it is not without fear, anxiety, stress, and a massive amount of guilt that I must tell you that I have decided to venture back into the meat-eating world after 11 years of being without.  And I feel so strangely about it.  Believe me, this was the hardest decision I’ve ever made.  Being a vegetarian wasn’t just that I was a girl who liked the taste of veggies and fruit better than muscles and flesh, it was an entire lifestyle for me.  It's not something I did for attention, it's something I did because of my beliefs.  It’s who I was.  It’s who I’m not anymore… and that’s okay.

                As you read in my previous post, I’ve been dealing with all kinds of stomach and digestive issues over the past year and a half.  After many (invasive) procedures and tests, more medicine than you could ever imagine, and lots of tears and sleepless nights, the doctors still can’t figure out what the F@*! Is wrong with me, besides that I have some sort of acid reflux and adenomyosis. Side note: Girls, don’t google that last word.  You don’t even want to.

                Anyway – I decided it was finally time to take matters into my own hands and see if I could do a better job at fixing myself than all of these highly paid, highly skilled medical professionals could do.  It had gotten to the point that my reflux was so bad, I couldn’t even enjoy any of my favorite vegetarian meals anymore.  Fruits, veggies, anything with lots of acid was killing me.  I can’t eat nuts because of my food allergies, and I wasn’t eating meat, therefore, I was really getting no nutrients and trying to survive on pasta and bread.  Talk about boring, uncomfortable, and a legit recipe for a long road of health issues, possible weight gain, and misery.  I decided this was not a road I wanted to take.  And so, I asked myself, what good am I even doing by living this lifestyle anymore?  It’s clearly not helping me right now, and something’s got to give.  I needed nutrients back, my body was aching for some help.  So with that being said, it’s been about three weeks since I took my first bite of chicken in what seems like forever.  I’ve been doing it really slowly, introducing lean chicken and turkey back into a daily routine… and maybe trying a few different meat dishes and fish options here and there.  It’s not an easy adjustment, but I am trying to focus on the nutrients and hope that this helps me get better.  If it doesn’t, then it doesn’t.  At least I will know I tried.  So far, it has helped a little.  I've begun seeing a chiropractor, nutritionist, and taking all natural supplements.  Some days I experience no reflux at all which is a huge jump from how I was living before.  Some days it's still here, nagging me like crazy, but I'm trying to stay positive.  

                So, readers, blog community, vegetarians and meat eaters alike, I hope none of you place judgment, and I hope none of you give up on this blog.  I need readers like you to help me with my difficult journeys, and I hope you still need me for a little inspiration every now and then.  And I hope, more than anything, that you just want me to be healthy, just as I want all of you to be - and don’t worry - I will post my progress soon.

              Thanks for being by my side these past four years, through each one of  my ups and downs.  I truly love you all!