Hi everyone! It’s been so long since I’ve posted here…
Life has been extremely crazy over the last 4-5 years since
I’ve written and shared this space with you.
Lots of good things have happened, a couple terrible things have
happened, my life has never been so stressful and crazy, but I’m still here,
stronger than ever, ready to get back to writing in this outlet not only for
me, but because I’m hopeful there are some of you that can relate. If even just
one of you thinks wow, I feel that too,
then this is all worth it.
For those of you that have followed me over the last few
years, you know that I got married in 2021, have two wild and crazy perfect
sons, Jackson (age 6) and Jase (age 2), and two kittens (Sophie and Sully/twins). I still have my full time job as a Legal Assistant
(been in this role for 15 years), and I still have a very active and busy
social media management business that I run on the side. On top of all of that, I sadly lost my Dad
back in April. It was sudden, tragic,
earth shattering and all the things I don’t like to think about or feel, but it’s
my reality, and it totally sucks. I also
lost my 17 year old cat Nala, who this blog was basically named after, and that
really hit hard. So, with all of that
being said, I’m trying to somehow navigate my life while maintaining my sanity,
as if that’s even possible…. is it? I
guess we’ll find out.
Even though it’s fun and exciting being in my 30’s and finally feeling like I know who I am as a person, sometimes I get lost in the battle of “I shouldn’t be stressed/sad/anxious, so many people have it so much worse, I’m so lucky to have a beautiful life with family, friends, healthy kids and a happy marriage…” and I start to feel guilty, almost like I should never complain about the tough times and that I have no excuse for taking a break from this blog, from finishing my 2nd book, for all the projects I don’t get done and the piles of laundry that don’t get folded. I probably yell and cry too much, and sometimes I want to curl up in a ball under my sheets or better yet run the f*!k away and never come back… but then I remind myself that everyone has their own “worst”, and everyone is entitled to their own feelings, and being a mom is freaking hard. Life is hard, but it always gets better. Things always work out, family sticks together, and as my Dad always said “what comes around goes around.” This is when I remind myself that I’m only human, and god damn sometimes that alone is a lot to handle, but things always do have a way of working themselves out.
But enough about ^ that, let’s move on to the good things –
shall we? As I said above, I got married
in 2021 – our wedding was everything I hoped it would be – an intimate ceremony, a
big reception that felt just like the best party I’ve ever been to with the greatest food and music, and this
year Paul and I will have been together for 12 whole years! It’s pretty incredible to have someone you
know will stick by your side through it all, and that’s truly what I have with
him. I couldn’t get through life without
him, that’s for sure. Jase turned 2 in
December, Jackson just turned 6 three weeks ago, and I can honestly say
these kids are the best things that have ever happened to me. Challenging me in ways I’ve never known, and loving
me in ways only sons can love their mothers (boy moms – am I right?), God truly
knew what he was doing when he gave me two boys. My hands are full (AF), but my heart is even
fuller. Oh god, I sound like one of those
corny plaques that people hang up in their living rooms next to the “Live. Laugh.
Love.” signs… Moving on.
We still live in MA, we are hoping to buy
something bigger eventually, we are both plugging away at the so-called American
Dream, I still can’t smell after having Covid in 2021, I’m still a vegetarian,
I have recently rekindled my love for fitness over the last year, I still fantasize
about becoming a columnist and living in NYC as the next Carrie Bradshaw, I’m
still obsessed with Taylor Swift, and I wrote a poetry/lyrics book in 2018 (which
you should all purchase a copy of). Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry, and I'm always overstimulated by something (especially noise and the feeling of heat/AC or something of the like blowing on me). I have a new found love for very specific
Italian red wines (everything else gives me a headache). I love strong coffee, and I will easily sit in a 15 minute drive through to get it or else my whole day will just feel wrong (all while panicking that I'm already late for wherever I have to be). I will never say no to
sitting outside under some string lights, and I love going to the beach/lake/pool, etc.,
but my ideal vacation is in a big city with skyscrapers and tons of little hole
in the wall restaurants/bars/shops and countless opportunities for Instagram worthy photos. I will pretty much strike up conversation
with any stranger, I still have the same group of best friends, my mom is my
ride or die, and I very much still wish my sister would move home from
Tennessee. Anything else I’m sure you’ll
read about as this blog evolves once again.
So thanks for reading, if you’re new here, welcome to my corner
of the world, and I hope you can find solace and appreciation in my chaos. I’d like to believe that all good things are
ahead. I’d say I deserve a little break... but honestly, I know that I’m now indestructible and ready
to handle whatever life throws at me with grace, strength, and more empathy than
ever.
Be back soon, and here's to a happy healthy 2025 (even though it's almost March)!
Love,
Holly
