Friday, September 9, 2016

A Letter to My Younger Self...

Dear Younger Holly,

First I want to thank you.  Thank you for never listening to people when they told you your sister couldn’t be your best girlfriend.  Turns out, your sister AND your mom became your best girlfriends.  Eat that, popular 5th grade girls who wore baggy JNCO jeans and eyeliner.  

Thank you, too, younger-self, for wearing bell-bottoms before they became cool again, and thank you for smiling at the kid who told you that you looked like a hippie.

Also, thank you, younger self, for paying enough attention in school to get into college, largely based on your ability to rock a college essay.  If not for college, you wouldn’t meet your other best friend in the entire world, Angela.  On top of that, if not for your outgoing and friendly personality, you wouldn’t meet your other best friend, Jade.  Make sure to never let these girls go.

Next, I want to thank you for listening to your mother when she told you to always wash your makeup off at night.  Your face will be pretty wrinkle-free for an almost 30 year old. 

Finally, I want to thank you for always admiring the free spirit in your father, and for listening to him when he told you to chase your dreams no matter how great or small.  Always make sure to dance with him to "Brown Eyed Girl" every time you get the chance.

Younger Holly, sometimes I wish I could go back to being you.  So carefree, but wise enough to know your surroundings.  So excited over the simple joys in life like long car rides with your family and a boom box in the back seat.  Oftentimes when I’m having an insanely stressful day at work, or sitting in ridiculous traffic, or waking in the night with anxiety, I wish I could go back to those moments. And sometimes, I wish I had taken more Polaroid photos of my teenage years, just so I could laugh at how awkward I was, and be proud of the beautiful person I've become.

Younger Holly, I would love to tell you to go back and kindly raise your cute middle finger to all of the mean girls who made fun of you for peeing the bed until you were _____ (let’s leave that age blank), and for having to get braces at a young age.  I would tell you to wait until we are almost 30 and check out how well those girls are doing now…..

Younger Holly, I wish I could and tell you to be so thankful for all the relationships in your life that didn’t work out.  Your best friends you had fights with, your first crush, your high school boyfriends, your first real love in college.  Even though they destroyed your heart a couple times, I would remind you to always keep your head up and to remember to love again.  And love again.  And again. 

I’d tell you that all aspects of life gets easier, but they don’t.  Relationships are a lot of work, but the ones that are meant for you won’t break your heart, and that’s what makes it all worth it.

I wish I could go back to 8am soccer games and the sound of my parents cheering on the sidelines. I would thank them for driving all over creation just to make me happy. I wish I could go back to late night sister conversations in a shared bedroom.  I wish I could go back to the frustration of not having 100 Abercrombie & Fitch shirts, just so I could remind you that once you turn 29, you’ll be able to afford all those clothes and more, but you’ll much rather shop at Marshalls and thrift stores.  Bargains can’t be beat, little girl!  Also, I will remind you that as much as you hate taking naps now, you'll love it when you're older!

Younger Holly, if I could tell you that once you turn 19 you'll stop eating meat, you probably wouldn’t believe me, because you could never imagine giving up hot dogs and your dad’s cheeseburgers with the ketchup smiley faces… but you will. 

I wish I could tell you to cherish every single moment with your grandparents while you had them.  I know they all left you at a very young age, but they helped shape the person you are today, and I would remind you to thank them every night for giving you such an amazing set of parents.  Also, I’d love to go back and tell you to thank your family for all the sacrifices they made to make you happy.  You really are a lucky person, surrounded by so much love.  Thank them for giving you all the opportunities you have had so far!

I would remind you, Younger Holly, that the world is a really cruel place sometimes, but if you keep your faith, and keep doing good to other people, it eventually will come back to you.  I want you to so badly believe your dad the 100 times he told you “what comes around, goes around”, and then maybe you wouldn’t cry so much over the girls who cyber bullied you behind AOL Instant Messenger.

Younger Holly, I wish I could tell you to be so proud of who you are. You are unique, loving, kind, and gentle.  But you have quite the temper.  I would remind you to not fly off the handle so quickly, and I would tell you not to throw fruit and other objects at your sister.  You are quite aggressive when you’re mad.  Also, don't sweat the small stuff.  Not everything in life is a crisis.  Try to be calmer…. (it won't happen, but I'm telling you anyway)

I want to remind that you you’ll change a lot, so to embrace every phase of your life because before you know it, you’ll be almost 30, with a blog, writing a letter to your younger self.  And when you do this, you should be so thankful for the life you have been given. 

Lastly, I want to tell you to never let anyone tell you that it’s wrong to be 100% in love with yourself. 

This is the best lesson I could ever teach you.

Almost 30 year old Holly.