Thursday, January 2, 2014

On change....

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage, literally just twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery….

I haven’t written here in a while…. It’s not because I haven’t wanted to, and it’s certainly not because I haven’t had the words to say, but it’s because I’ve been doing a lot of my writing in private. I tend to think that even though a lot of my life is an open book that I’m so eager to share, some pieces need to be held closely for a while, like a balloon string in my tightly clenched fist, until I’m ready to let it go and let the world own it, view it, and talk about it. But oftentimes, the fear of letting it go is what holds people back.

I’m learning to understand this, though…figuring out how to be more accepting of opinions, judgment, everything else the world will do with your life, and sometimes it can be overwhelming. But why?  Is change as terrifying as we all think it is? Is it something that covers us, shields us, and prevents our hearts from taking a chance, our pens from writing the truth, our songs from being heard? Or is change the finest thing that could ever happen? Is it the most liberating sensation when you feel the weight lifted, the shift of one emotion to the next? Is change most electrifying when it opens the door to new light, new colors, new people and a whole new world? Is it ok for your hands to shake when you flip the page to the next chapter of your life? Or is change something that stirs your whole body up, leaving you confused, scared, and afraid to show the world the new you? My answer is this….. Who honestly cares? Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things if you don’t have everyone’s approval? No. All that matters is that you approve of yourself, and whether or not you are ready to change is up to you. If you want to let your heart bleed out, leaving bright red drops as you walk daringly into your new life, then you should.  

Every now and then, you just need to be fearless enough to make that decision, and right now, I’m so thankful for my brave heart.

And I promise you, something great will come of it”