So, like any girl who is approaching her thirties with a
mixture of excitement and pure fear, I like to play around with different
things that keep me feeling like the spry, cute, little bouncy 21 year old I once
was. So, you might catch me rocking out to Bieber with my sunroof open, trying
to squeeze my body into tight crop tops that I swear are only made for
pre-pubescent 14 year old girls (but what the hell, a girl’s gotta try anyway)
and constantly going back and forth between all different types of makeups,
wrinkle preventers, haircuts, work out regiments, detox teas, and more. PS. The Smashbox X-Rated mascara is to die for. Go buy it now. Your lashes will soon resemble Kim K's and you'll feel like a legit rock star all day long.
In saying that, a lot of the time you’ll find me acting like the
intelligent, hard-working, dress-like-I’m-almost-in-my-thirties 29 year old full
time working, 401k paying-into, bills-up-the-ass, legal assistant that I am. Thus, you might find me wearing a button up
blouse while shedding a tear over a Simon and Garfunkel lyric, making constant
To-Do lists, and organizing all the god damn medicine I’m on to keep my
heartburn (yes, heartburn isn’t just for the elderly and overweight people)
under control. You’ll also find me
staying in on a Friday night watching Netflix instead of getting blackout drunk
and forgetting how I got home. You’ll notice I made the switch from real
tanning to spray tanning as to preserve my youthful skin. I’ve also been known to have a full blown
conversation with my cat about whether she’s voting for Trump or Hillary. Those conversations happen in private though,
so I guess the chances of catchinig those ones are slim.
So what I’m trying to say is, it’s a really hard thought to
grasp – moving from being the age that EVERYONE wants to be and EVERYONE wants
YOU to be, to the scary dark world of your thirties. There are so many things I
wanted to have accomplished by now, but there are also so many things I have accomplished
that I never thought I could. And, I’ve
learned so much through this process - one important lesson being that it’s
better to have a few real friends you can vent and grow with than to have a bunch of girls you can go to
the bar and talk shit with about people you don’t even know. I’ve also
learned that spending time with my parents is some of the best time I spend. I find myself growing to be more like my beautiful mother, and I’m
happy about that. I’ve found that nights
in on the couch laughing over stupid inside jokes with my boyfriend mean so
much more to me than wearing 8 pounds of eyeliner and trying to look hot for
the next guy who just wants to break my heart.
So all in all, I’ve learned that I’m a pretty damn lucky 29 but almost
30 year old.
So for now, I’ll hold onto the two – the life I live now and
the live that awaits me, and in doing so, you may definitely still see me rocking out to the Biebs and T. Swift in my brand new Jeep, while wearing a dark shade of
office appropriate lipstick, with perfectly highlighted hair and expensively manicured
nails, looking like a maniac because I’m trying to simultaneously take a selfie while thinking about how I can cook a
clean organic dinner and still make it to bed by 9pm and wake up the next day
to start day-drinking at noon.
With that being said, life in your late twenties can be so
confusing, man. Who’s with me?
